In defense of loneliness

In defense of loneliness

My
own efforts to live longer and better—the Zumba classes and the
inner-peace-grasping yoga—won’t help the fact I remain alone, and
lonely, inside a flesh-and-bone encasement. From that isolated place,
like everyone else I engage the world through the small, barred window
of subjective consciousness.

Given that fact, it seems the
popularly reported loneliness threat has a tautological weirdness to it.
Being human will shorten your life, the studies say. Still, it scares me. For the chronically lonely (I count myself in this
group), the health outlook is grim. Research from the University of
Chicago, Ohio State University, and University College London shows that
pervasive loneliness and social isolation are linked to a compromised
immune system, raised levels of the stress hormone cortisol, fitful
sleep punctured by “micro-awakenings,” inflammation, increased risks of
heart disease and, alas, premature death. Chronic loneliness stalks men
and women, young and old. Its effects are more devastating than obesity,
according to a study by Brigham Young University.

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Maybe something good will come of all this depressing research, like a loneliness-awareness marathon...... In the U.K., they’re getting close. The Campaign to End Loneliness:

In a medication-glutted mental illness market, books as therapy might
seem banal. But, in the U.K., the National Health Service recently
launched the “Books on Prescription” program to help patients manage
their suffering by reading self-help books.

Every day, judging from the growing body of international research (and
my own intuition), I brush lightly against people in the depths of their
own loneliness. Our shared terrors will prevent most of us from making
any meaningful contact with one another. But if anyone did call out for a
lifeline, what I’d say to them is this: Feel your loneliness, like an
existential brine. That is our lot sometimes, and it’s okay. Also, go to
the community barbecue. Volunteer. See the therapist. And get reading.
You’ll find out that you have company. Your loneliness has long been
chronicled and sung. By not running away in dread of it, you might just
become, in Rilke’s words, “a thing ripened until it is real.”

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